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Joke of the Day

"""Don't Kid Yourself"" would be the greatest brand name for birth control pills."

"My younger dog can go to sleep in about 4 seconds. The older one takes about 6 because she's got more shit to worry about, I guess."

"Why wouldn't the mother take her kids to the classical music concert? Too much sax and violins."

"How do you piss off a feminist? Don't worry, she's already pissed off."

"I T H I N K W E S H O U L D R U I N P E O P L E S T I M E L I N E B Y T W E E T I N G L I K E T H I S A L L D A Y . . . . ."

"The playwright wanted to make a play using only particles made from 2 quarks each. It was his meson scene."

"before you do a horrific crime, double check whether you could get the death penalty for it and if so whether you really want to do it"

"Gays are fucking assholes."

"Did you hear about the dog that's become the first to officially own pieces of art? He's the first dog to be able to lick his own Pollocks"

"Why do they call it the Xbox360? Because when you see it, you turn 360 degrees and walk away."