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Joke of the Day

"How do you drowned a hipster? Throw them in the mainstream. Edit: spelling because I'm 5"

"Ladies, if you love a man, set him free. If he comes back he will be yours forever. If he doesn't, the new chick probably squirts or does anal."

"I have decided to start a strict vegetarian diet Starting tonight I will enjoy a nice thick steak. Cows are the most delicious of the strict vegetarians"

"That time in 1997 you found out Chris Rock & Chris Tucker are 2 different people & realized you're racist. #thatwasawkward"

"Child in a car: Strap them to the seat or you will be fined and jailed. Bus full of children: They'll be fine just throw em in there."

"Our baby doubled age in a single day. If my calculations are correct, a month from now she'll be about 3 million years old."

"What's a thief's favorite type of armour? Steel armour"

"Outsize Clothes-buying by Ellie Fant"

"I'm a masochist. I downvote myself."

"It's funny how red, white and blue represents freedom until its flashing behind you to pull over"