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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the farmer who tried to be a stand up comedian? His jokes weren't dairy funny."

"My uncle Robert was a shit ventriloquist He used to stick his hand up my arse and tell me to say nothing"

"Boy giraffe: You wanna? Girl giraffe: Ok, but kiss my neck first. Boy giraffe: But Babe, we only have 3 hours!"

"If a dog ran away every three nights and had an orange tail, what would that make it? I think it would still be a dog..."

"I went to the library and asked for a book about small peni$es. The librarian said, ""I'm not sure if it's in yet."" ""Yep, that's the one"", I said."

"What did Hansel and Gretel say when the witch put them in the oven? She diabeetus!"

"Two WWE fans walk into a fight club They promptly get the shit beat out of them. Moral: Just because it's ""good"" entertainment does not mean an RKO will help you win a real fight"

"What is every Redditor's blood type? Edit: TypO"

"A barman is complaining about all the weird customers he's been getting lately... Then a half naked man walks in with a huge number 19 tattooed on his body. ""There... that's a prime example"""

"In Russia, Vladimir Putin has said that the killers of Nemtsov ""will be ruthlessly hunted down."" He added, ""It's cheaper than paying them"""