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Joke of the Day

"Why was the stadium so cool? it was full of fans. Thank thank you for your time"

"Why ""Trojan"" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in the United states? They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin."

"Good night cop: Want the light on or off? Sweet dreams kiddo. Bad night cop: You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank the coffee before it was cool."

"Honey, I just won the lottery! -- Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack some suitcases! -- That's fantastic! Should I pack summer or winter clothing? -- I don't care, but I want you gone by tomorrow!"

"There was a counter top on layaway at Home Depot. They said it was for the Packers' punt returner, Hyde. It was for Micah."

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind"

"My dad was cutting up Onions and I started crying. Onions was a great dog."

"Who invented mince? A leper playing guitar."