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Joke of the Day

"We saw a patient in the emergency room today... He had fallen into an upholstering machine. It was touch and go for a while but... &nbsp; ...he's fully recovered."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ashley ! Ashley who ? Ashley-t's foot !"

"Drinking Light Beer is like going down on your sister.. it tastes the same, but just isn't right."

"Turtle + Porcupine = Slowpoke"

"Canada was like, ""This is all part of the Northwest Territories,"" but the Inuit were having Nunavut."

"Hillary Clinton is a strong woman who doesn't need Bill. Besides, the FBI has been fingering her for a while now."

"Republicans, don't forget to set your clocks back 50 years"

"I stepped on a corn flake Now I'm a cereal killer."

"A vegan, a vaper, and a Pitbull owner walk into a bar... ...I'd tell you what they said but I have no idea because none of them would shut up."

"COP: Can you describe your attacker? ME: No COP: Didn't you see him? ME: Yes, but I have a poor grasp of adjectives"