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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a vaper, and a Pitbull owner walk into a bar... ...I'd tell you what they said but I have no idea because none of them would shut up."

"What is a better name for cows? Lawn mooers! My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!"

"What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him."

"What does earth say to the other planets? You have no life"

"Do you know the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi? Well, the people in Dubai don't like the Flinstones, but the people in Abu-Dhabi-Do."

"It's here! May The Fourth Be With You!!"

"I've got a quiet buddy who taught his cat to speak. He's a fan of mew words."

"How many women here think men are pigs? Let me see a show of tits."

"How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout ""Heroes in a half shell."" 3) When a girl yells back ""Turtle Power,"" marry her."

"My boss got hit by a car while I was on my way to the wishing well so yes, I do have some spare change."