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Joke of the Day

"People call me ""big"", ""dumb"", and ""stupid"", which confuses me because I'm actually not very big"

"Everyone please stop saying that today's date only happens once. EVERY date only happens once, that's how time works."

"Your momma is so fat She uses ""panorama"" mode for her selfies."

"So I met a vegan. I'd finish the joke, but she's still talking."

"Nice try, blocked number but I don't even answer the phone for people I know."

"Have you heard the one about the untouched coal pit? Never mined."

"Trump keeps talking about restoring ""law and order."" I dunno about you, but I'd rather vote for a candidate who wants to restore Firefly."

"Rape in an elevator is wrong.... on so many levels"

"male friend ""i hate tea""... me ""of course you like tea!"" friend ""...?"" me ""tit-teas..."""

"My wife's online shopping downstairs so I'm upstairs logged on to the same site and deleting everything in her cart."