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Joke of the Day

"Important Message for Every MAN if you MARRY ONE WOMAN She will fight with you... But if you MARRY TWO WOMAN they will fight for you :D So! Think Different... Add Wife... Have Life... ;)"

"""Have a nice day at the plant!"" -wife caterpillar to husband caterpillar in the morning"

"Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!"

"Did you hear about the gynecologist... ...who wallpapered his front room through the letter box?"

"What's the first thing you know? Old Jed's a millionaire."

"I've heard that you should always be skeptical... but I have my doubts."

"A Russian asks another Russian if he's seen the new magic show in town. ""Cock ta-da?"" ""Yeah, horror show."""

"Until you lean in to hear a seven-year-old's whisper, you don't realize that front teeth act as a retaining wall for spit."

"A blonde and a brunette are exchanging wild stories... Brunette: ""have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"" Blonde: *ponders for a moment* ""No but I've been swung around by the tits before!"""

"I want to meet the actors who get turned down to act in infomercials. Then I would ask them how their brother Alec Baldwin is doing."