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Joke of the Day

"q: what's brown and sits on the piano, steaming ? a: Beethoven's 1st movement."

"If you need a distraction from the election there is a new American reality TV series starting soon. It's called The White House. Apparently the lead actor has been given a 4 season contract."

"My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out"

"Statue of Liberty How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French? It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States"

"Wanna hear a joke about overdosing on cocaine? I can't remember all of it, but the last line's a killer."

"I do 8 sit-ups every mornin'. Might not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button. Merica."

"Today, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Then I considered 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream."

"So this dyslexic guy walks into a bra ..."

"""oh no, this is so scary or whatever lol"" -giraffe in quicksand"

"I'm a leader, not a follower... Unless it's into a dark place, then screw that, you're going first."