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Joke of the Day

"I tried taking Viagara the other day... I must not have swallowed it fast enough, because man oh man was my neck stiff!"

"What did the frog with the speech impediment say? ""Thibbit"""

"Do you brush your teeth without making a mess like in the commercials? Because I usually look like I have minty fresh rabies...."

"What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his nose"

"Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant."

"Remember when you thought if you accidentally swallowed apple seeds, a tree would grow in your belly? God I miss my 'Thirties'...."

"Pokemon Go has really improved my life... I used to always get in trouble for playing with my balls outside."

"[packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen"

"Don't give karma whores a butter joke... ...they might spread it"

"I sprayed a spider in my house with Axe, to try and kill it. But now it's name is Chad, and he's fucking my girlfriend..."