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Joke of the Day

"[packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen"

"An original as far as I know If a pepper could orgasm, where would it ejaculate? Jalapeno mouth."

"I heard that they're coming up with a new Tron movie which deals with particle physics... Its called new-Tron."

"My friend asked his fiance to marry him with a song. The proposal had a nice ring to it."

"My way or the highway. It takes two to tango. What I'm saying is, ""welcome to idiom club"". Now, let's cut to the chase."

"I'm not Madagascar, I'm just disappointedgascar"

"The only part I hate about not wearing pants is having to wipe snot on my bare legs."

"I've got a great sense of humor *closes eyes and tilts head slightly upward* yes. there is humor nearby. 40, no, 50 yards from here"

"Indian Twitter is a lot like regular Twitter except everyone is misquoting Gandhi instead of Marilyn Monroe."

"It's still Valentines day for another hour.. Roses are red Violets are blue No, they are violet FTFY"