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Joke of the Day

"What did Holly Holm say to Ronda Rousey's date to the Marine Corps Ball? I hit that."

Next Joke
 
"Timmy comes home with a bad maths test result Dad: ""If your next test result is bad, I won't think you as my son."" A few days later Dad: ""How was your history test?"" Timmy: ""Who the hell are you?"""
"How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb? They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for 30 years."
"I leave spider carcasses on the wall to make sure the other spiders understand.."
"She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard.."
"What do you call a big Irish spider? Paddy long legs"
"Sorry I said your baby looks like the anti-Christ. I meant to say she looks like her mother."
"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Either have they."
"Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac? Because they always take things... Literally"
"There's only 3 blonde jokes... The rest are true stories."