148424

Joke of the Day

"What are the odds? Daughter: Dad, I'm a lesbian Dad: Its cool 2nd Daughter: Dad, I'm also a lesbian Dad: OMG! Does anyone in this family like dick? Son: I do!"""

"In the divorce court today an 85-year old farmer divorced his 17-year old wife, claiming he could not keep his hands off her. He has since fired all of his hands and bought a combine harvester."

"How do Ghosts get Drunk? Booze."

"Passwords: Outlook- work1234 Aol- kidsnames home alarm- anniversary Twitter- supercalifragilist{middlename}espialido{graduationyear}cious"

"When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it."

"What's the worst part of a Ukrainian gas station? When you see the tongue drag across your windshield."

"What do you call a poop that went to med school? Dookie Howser"

"Nature tip: if you're attacked by a cougar, tickle its belly. It will kill you but at least your last memory will be of petting a cuddly cat"

"Why was the EDM producer bad at fishing? Because he kept dropping the bass"

"What's a butt's favorite exercise? High Knees"