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Joke of the Day

"I thought I was watching 50 shades of Grey But I realised it was just a porno. I could tell the difference because they were having consensual sex."

"Whenever I see someone posting a picture with a celebrity, I comment: ""Who's that next to you?"""

"I picked up a girl at a bar. She told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I screwed her three times and hit her with a brick."

"Did you here that Donald Trump wants to ban canned parmesan cheese? He wants to make America grate again."

"What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas? Cancer"

"What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth? Nothing. Social dichotomy prevents the establishment of dialogue."

"Snow is like sex... You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. .."

"*barber hands me the mirror to check the back* ""Looks good!"" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly"

"Why did the cannibal only eat coma patients? The doctor said he needed more vegetables in his diet."

"What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals? A good Friday"