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Joke of the Day

"The question is not ""Why is Instagram not working?"", but ""Why does the world need another picture of you?"" #instagramnotworking"

"Two Russian kgb operatives are also in a tank One turns to the other and says ""gurgle gurgle"" and they both drown..."

"What do you call those people who follow musicians around and try to hang with them after the show? Drummers."

"Someone just used my driveway to turn around and now I'm standing outside with two open beers and *lonely face*"

"The SSD joke ""Don't buy an SSD"" : Said a nerd ""Why?? Asked his friend *""You wont be able to go to toilet during windows load""*"

"First Kiss BF finally Kissed Her GF GF: Wow i can't believe that a Kiss is so nice.. BF: Ofcourse I told you.. Is it Your First Kiss? (smiling) GF: Yes! since my EX Boyfriends wants sex right away"

"Just burned 2000 calories while in bed. That's the last time I take a nap while the brownies are in the oven."

"I thought the girl at my bus stop thought I was sweet but apparently that's not what she meant by ""un-savory"""

"I'd rather my son bring home a pregnant girl than head lice"

"The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls."