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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream? A: Wet feet."

"Nobody tell my husband that ""year round periods"" aren't a thing."

"I tried to make a movement supporting lossy music compression... but I got a lot of FLAC."

"We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing."

"How does a grizzly catch fish? With his bear hands!"

"I went on a scavenger hunt the other day. I shot a vulture."

"What do you call a room with no walls? A mushroom. Some people don't think that this is a joke. But it makes me rofl all over the place."

"This one time, I cried, when my dad chopped up Onions. I loved Onions, she was such a nice, sweet, little puppy"

"How many mexicans? how many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan."

"When I was a kid I didn't want to imagine my parents having sex, so I'd watch them from the wardrobe."