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Joke of the Day

"If you watch The Matrix backwards, a young man slowly comes down from a wild acid trip before returning to his low-level tech job."

"Why did the Catholic cross herself?"

"Psychoanalysis is nothing sinister There's really nothing to be afreud of."

"Have you read the book about anti-gravity? Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down."

"People always tell me not to piss in the shower... ...but you know, it's difficult not to when you're taking a shit"

"I've perfected an AI as a substitute to a girlfriend. Every time I try to turn it on I get the silent treatment and there are no output to tell me what's wrong."

"My friend overdosed on chill pills. On the plus side, he was by far the coolest person at the funeral."

"And the cat's in the cradle so the baby must be at the pet groomer's, this is a terrible mix-up."

"A necklace and a little plane on it. The man was staring at the little plane on the woman's necklace The woman: Do you like the plane? The man: No! I like the airport."

"What do they call Miley Cyrus in France? Kilometrey Cyrus."