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Joke of the Day

"A husband and a wife were having dinner... ... the wife dropped some tomato sauce on her top and said 'ugh, I look like a pig'. The husband responds 'AND you have tomato sauce on your top!'"

"why cant you hear a pterodactyl go pee? Dinosaurs are extinct"

"Why are black people so fast? Because all of the slow ones are in jail."

"Congratulations on being the kind of person who corrects the grammar of others, unsolicited. You're the Microsoft Word Paperclip."

"This joke is brought to you by Arnold Schwarzeneggers one-sided chess set. ""I'll be black"""

"What did Blackbeard say to the girl who was dressed as a sexy pirate for Halloween? ""Land Hoe!"""

"If you're American before you go in the bathroom and American after you leave the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom? European"

"*Rubs lamp* *Nothing happens* Where's the genie? *Takes off lampshade* What's wrong with this thing?"

"My girlfriend asked me: ""Reddit or me?"" Sometimes I miss her."

"What is an out of date joke you still remember? One from the 90's: What do you call a little burro? A Burrito. What do you call a little taco? A Taquito What do you call a little judge? A Judge Ito"