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Joke of the Day

"-That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times."

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"Why did the bee go to the doctor? Because he had hives."
"Thursday is that guy who shows up early for the party, with margarita mix and no booze."
"im leavin the united states now that trump is president i am packing my bags and moving to alaska i don't wanna live in this country anymore"
"A man goes to a new doctor for a checkup upon which the doctor discovers he has five penises. The doctor says, That's unbelievable, how do your pants fit! The man says ""Like a glove."""
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I'd never pay to have a lentil on my face"
"a red ship and a blue ship crashed on an island together the survivors were marooned."
"Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes I have. Well you shouldn't be so clumsy!"
"Why are there no Bruce Lee jokes? Because Bruce Lee is no joke."
"I wish my work would pay me to tweet all weekend like they do all week."
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