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Joke of the Day

"Make it a Great Friday by not getting nailed to a cross."

"Got a new car for my girlfriend, best trade I ever made."

"I'm trying to do unto others as I would have done to me, but they're all ""stop thrusting at me, this is a church service; please sit down"""

"Barrack Obama won the Olympic Gold Medal Usain Bolt was running for President"

"A zombie apocalypse will be the only time you'll hear me say 'please don't eat me' ......aaaand send"

"nothing is funny anymore becuase nothing is normal anymore. i saw a pigeon on the subway today and thought ""how did a pigeon make $2.75"""

"My penis was fired today... so if anyone has any openings I can fill, let me know."

"ME: time for sleep BRAIN: what if potatoes could talk ME: ugh BRAIN: and make friends with one another ME: please stop BRAIN: best spuds"

"LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it."

"My neighbors look so happy. We can fix that."