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Joke of the Day

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and expense reports."

"English is difficult to learn. It can be taught through tough thorough thought, though."

"[leaving a birthday party with my pinata friend] i swear i didn't know they were going to do that ""Just take me home"""

"I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep."

"Marriage is like Comcast. Frustrating as hell and once a month you get screwed."

"A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? Q. They think their picture is being taken."

"I'm into perpendicular lines. I'm a bisectual"

"What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? One's against the law, and the other's a sick bird."

"A women got a wooden breast implant the other day.. This joke would be funny if it had a punchline.. *Wooden tit?*"

"Kum & go Ejaculate & evacuate"