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Joke of the Day

"wat abot when ther was only 1 set of footprints ""thats when i carried u"" wat abot when the fotprints went in the ocean ""i tried to drown u"""

"Why was Yoda afraid of seven? Because six, seven eight."

"The real reason Hillary Clinton stumbled A tiny plane flew into her."

"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving You need a parachute to go skydiving twice."

"i have 2000 karma in the sum of all my accounts and yet i feel no one respects my opinions maybe that's because i have 2500 posts"

"I don't take my shirts to the dry cleaners. If I want to look sharp, I pay the iron price."

"[sees kid hitting pinata] Me: wow he really hates horses"

"The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations."

"Turtleneck pro: if you wear one while you're eating you can't get crumbs in your bra. Turtleneck con: see above."

"Studies show that spying on people is good for humanity. Power to the peep-hole!"