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Joke of the Day

"Two kids Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off."

"This fall on Fox: X-Files Babies. Baby Skully and Baby Mulder meet at a petting zoo when they both get knocked over by the same goat."

"It's raining I'm pouring. Chick at the bar is whoring. We went to bed, she gave me head. Who says conventions are boring?"

"This may be one all of you have heard, but what do Eric Clapton and coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream."

"My friend from Hollywood always told me, ""Shoot for the stars."" He was an assassin."

"I went to the doctor today and he told me to stop masturbating so much. ""Why?"" I asked. ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"my mom took me to ""bring your kids to work day"" when I was younger- the day went all right, but I just dont think the other strippers liked me."

"Always respect a woman and never call her a bitch unless, you know, you're telling her to get you a sandwich."

"I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or go see Star Wars. She said ""I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out,"" but she pulled some strings and got me in."

"A duck walks into a pharmacy and buys some chapstick. He says to the cashier ""put it on my bill""."