147845
Joke of the Day
"How do people at rodeos heckle the riders? Moooo!"
Next Joke
"How do blondes' brain cells die? Alone"
"You know your life sucks... when your job sucks, your car sucks, your house sucks, but your wife doesn't. - Sorry if it's a repost."
"Trust is like an eraser. It gets smaller and smaller after every mistake."
"We really need to silence the Muslim jokes I'm talking to the guys in particular, since the Women are already silent."
"I'm actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me."
"You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body."
"To my followers in Florida in the path of the hurricane: Remember to keep your phone charged. These tweets don't ""like"" themselves."
"Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells."
"Pedophiles are... .... Fucking immature assholes."