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Joke of the Day

"Theravada Monks purge all their earthly possessions to express their faith and pursue spiritual stillness of mind. I did it because fleas."

"whenever i trip a skinny girl running in only a sports bra i feel like i'm doing god's work"

"What do you call a musician's best friend? A drummer..."

"I know it shouldn't it make me feel bad about myself, but why didn't a priest ever try to molest ME?"

"I love how fresh & clean my bathroom smells after I've killed a spider with a full bottle of windex"

"How did Kim Kardashian break the net? She sat on it."

"It's complicated"" is just code for, ""I'm willing to cheat."""

"What do runners eat before a race? Nothing. They fast"

"What did Mick Jagger say when he walked in on Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver? He said ""Hey Hey Hugh Hugh Get Off Of McCould"""

"Why did the blind fly starve to death?? Because he couldn't see shit"