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Joke of the Day

"whenever i trip a skinny girl running in only a sports bra i feel like i'm doing god's work"

"What is Eminem's favourite food? wraps"

"Who delivers presents to the hood? Crip Cringle."

"My DNA results came back and apparently I'm .0002% aardvark. Which pretty much answers all the questions I've ever had. About anything."

"For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!"

"I just removed all my German friends from my phone Now I have a Hans-free device"

"Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess? He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves."

"Christmas Jokes Q: Why was Missis Claus mad last night? A: Santa came early"

"What do you call a Battlefront without EA? Bttlfront"

"At this point in my life... At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer."