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Joke of the Day

"I heard you can turn soup to gold... You just have to add 24 carrots"

"WHY DO COWS LIE DOWN IN THE RAIN? TO KEEP EACH UDDER DRY."

"How do you get over a crush you've had since high school? Leave the dungeon door unlocked."

"My iPhone could say that I have a voicemail from God and I still wouldn't listen to it."

"Your wife and your lawyer are drowning, you have a decision to make.... Fish or chicken for dinner?"

"When is it ok to snipe police officers? As Dallast resort."

"I like my women like I like my presidents... Dead and illicit."

"Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine? He knew better than to drink and derive."

"I once knew a Johnny Glasscock in elementary school... You could always see him coming..."

"The only ""B"" word women should be called is... is beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful."