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Joke of the Day
"Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions."
Next Joke
"In retrospect, when you look back at your own tweets, you cannot help but think how narcissistic you sound."
"How do you tell which nurse is the head nurse? shes the one with dirty knees"
"I bought a muzzle for my pet duck.... Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill."
"Usain Bolt and I have a lot in common I can run for less than 10 seconds and enjoy smoking Degrasse"
"What do feminists and Redditors have in common? They both have multiple triggers that will cause them to down vote those who don't think the exact same way as them."
"What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck."
"What would be a more appropriate name for spiderman? Peter parkour."
"Was it bad? To yell at my gf if I should dig up hitler to show her how to use an oven"
"How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible."