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Joke of the Day

"How many blacks does it take to start a riot! -1"

"Sting has launched his own range of aromatherapy oils. They're a massage in a bottle"

"Staring at large boobs makes you better at multi-tasking. It demonstrates you can concentrate on two things at once."

"I slept with my best mate's wife last night and now I feel terrible. She must have given me a cold or something."

"When children, who are hoping for your death so one of them can claim your throne, bring you brekkie in bed, don't eat it. #FathersDay"

"I was gonna make a sodium joke but... Na"

"What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?! Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit?!"

"Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside."

"FACT: When a dog barks at you, it's actually their skeleton barking. PROOF: I have never seen a dog without a skeleton bark."

"My new favorite sex position... Is called the JFK. It's where I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car."