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Joke of the Day

"What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?! Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit?!"

"If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy."

"A farmer walks into his wife's bedroom with a sheep.... And says ""This is the pig I'm fucking."" His wife replies ""That's a sheep you fucking idiot!"" And the farmer says ""I wasn't talking you!"""

"What do you call a roaming caveman? A meanderthal"

"If you're going to bother Google with a search, it is polite to type ""excuse me"" first."

"Nurse walking down a hallway reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer... She says, ""Great, some asshole's got my pen."""

"What do you call an edited series of MILF videos? A Momtage"

"What did the buddhist monk say when he was asked if he was leaving? Na 'ma stay. (namaste) Grandfather joke at Easter dinner last sunday. Sorry."

"Why are churches never broke? Because Jesus saves."

"Who was the marketing genius who decided to call killer whales ""killer whales"" instead of ""sea pandas""???"