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Joke of the Day

"If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot..."

"According to my roommate's diary, I have boundary issues."

"has a fever: i'm ok coughs out lungs: i'm ok throat on fire: i'm ok is hungry: death, despair and chaos has entered my life"

"I think of immigration like I think of sex. It is more fun if everyone comes."

"A man with a wooden leg marries a woman with a wooden eye on their honeymoon she asks him if he wants to fool around. He replies, would I! she spits out peg leg"

"What game do they play at Mexican carnivals? Guaca-mole!"

"Drinking Bud Light is like having sex in a canoe... Its fucking close to water."

"What does pubic hair and parsley have in common? You just push them both aside and keep on eating."

"Where was Bill Clinton during his presidency? He was right between the Bushes."

"John: we need a new word for foolishness Tom: How about johnfoolery lol John: Ok that's definitely what I'm writing down"