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Joke of the Day

"The problem with Quotes on #Twitter is that... it is so difficult to tell if they are Genuine - William Shakespeare"

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"why was the sand wet? because the sea-weed."
"My favorite joke: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!"
"I was charged for dental floss during my most recent visit to the dentist. The dentist said he was changing the office's philos phy"
"9 Clowns in an elevator, one of them silently farts. One leans over to another and wispers...""You smell something funny?""."
"Use promo code 'NETFLIX' to get 50% off your grades."
"""You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck than eaten by a shark."" The shark made a convincing argument, so I got out of the cage."
"At the Bar I was not drunk.. ...At morning I discovered me on my bed but nude!!"
"Today someone was killed with a starter pistol... the police think it might be race related."
"My Boyfriend: Why are you so dramatic? Me: (Getting eaten by a lion)"