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Joke of the Day
"My Boyfriend: Why are you so dramatic? Me: (Getting eaten by a lion)"
Next Joke
"I like to knock on random doors and say, ""Hi, my name is Current Resident and I understand you're the bastard that's been opening my mail."""
"Life Pro Tip: Replace your shoelaces with earphone wires.. ... just look away and they'll tie themselves. (yes yes, it's not an original)"
"A father asked his son how baking school was going ""I knead some dough."""
"I've always got women knocking on my door... Sometimes I let them out."
"Went out to play Pokemon Go, found the meaning of life. It's Golbat."
"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger."
"An Irishman walks out of a bar."
"What happened to the loser of the Frisbee Championship Finals? He threw it."
"When a girl says: ""If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best""... What she really means is: ""I'm a f*ckin psycho."""