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Joke of the Day

"Friday is like a bra... You did your job all week, now it's time to take it off!... anyone need a hand??"

"A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick."

"Listen. I may be a nerd, but I have had sex. Just ask my wife. (Please don't ask my wife.)"

"Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck? Because he kept quacking all the eggs!"

"I saw a guy at an ATM with no arms, and a peg leg He asked if I would help him check his balance... so I pushed him over"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind doing a 5k but my running group is thinking of joining a 10k and I really don't like them."

"Do you want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism"

"How you can tell if a person is Irish: a fly lands in their pint of beer. They grab the fly and start shaking it over their beer yelling ""Spit it out ya bastard, spit it out!"""

"Hey, I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?"

"What's a nature philosopher's favorite rap song? Thoreau some mo'"