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Joke of the Day

"I'm not stupid"

"I checked my hotel room for left behind goods and all I found was this lousey comb. I guess you could say my room was bugged."

"A cop asked me if I was high last night. I was on my balcony at my apartment and told him, ""For being three floors up higher than you, I'd say I am!"""

"If you get an Otterbox you *should* drop your phone Just in case"

"Wearing my bra really helps me focus on exams I love academic support."

"When I was little and asked Mom how to spell a word she'd hand me a dictionary so when she asked how to do emojis I handed her a 13-year-old"

"My grandad keeps complaining about erectile dysfunction. He really needs to grow up."

"Woman at drive-thru just called me ""honey."" Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike."

"I am 48 and my wife is 8 months pregnant. am i too old to be a dad?"

"As my girlfriend was trying on jeans, a clerk asked her ""Need a bigger size?"" I saw the look on her face and went to make room in the trunk."