209907

Joke of the Day

"If you get an Otterbox you *should* drop your phone Just in case"

"You ever been to the butcher with the chastity fetish? Say what you will about the lifestyle, but his meat simply can't be beat."

"What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children? A PDFile."

"What do you call an arrogant criminal falling down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"I thought of this one in history class today The thing about communist jokes is that everyone has to get them."

"What's the difference between a cat and a politician? A cat will lie *on* your face. A politician will lie *to* your face."

"Chuck Norris Sperm is so tough, girls have to chew before they swallow."

"I had to ground my 8yo son for this one [NSFW] Son: Dad, why do you have to wrap a bunny in duct tape? Me: I don't know son, why? Son: So it doesn't explode when you fuck it! Me: Son: ( )"

"Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill? Because he was dead"

"Hate when you wake up & think it's the weekend but then realise death is inevitable eternal emptiness"