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Joke of the Day

"And the LORD said "" Come forth and receive eternal life"" John came fifth and received a brand new toaster"

"why was darth vader arrested? excessive use of force."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic? Half way."

"What kind of music do balloons hate the most? Pop music."

"Hell is an eternity of being sober in a room full of drunk people."

"Why did the nazi work in the animal hospital after the war? He was a veteran Aryan."

"How did my operation go Doc? Dr ; What? Dr ; Omg I've only got half a colon?"

"It turns out the only way to get my kids to flush the toilet is for me to be showering when they use it."

"*leads a conga line off of a bridge"

"Screaming out ""BOOM PREGNANT!"" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be."