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Joke of the Day
"What did the sarcastic left hand say to the right hand? ""You always think you're right!"""
Next Joke
"I redid my fence yesterday. It needed to be reposted."
"I can wake up at random intervals, crying and hungry too, so fuck you babies."
"Why is it called finding nemo? been wondering for years"
"The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy."
"I was going to make a chemistry joke... but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction."
"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"
"I spilled spot remover on my dog... ... He's gone now (credit to Steven Wright)"
"You know, I heard a rumor that Stevie Wonder is pansexual. He just doesn't see gender."
"I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you."