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Joke of the Day

"My mother told me ""When god closes a door, he opens a window."" I told her, he better shut that damn window too. It's 96 Degrees outside and he's letting my cold air out."

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"Just a friendly reminder that the world supposedly ends in 73 days."
"The three American Marines that helped thwart the Terrorist Attack in France did something than no Frenchman ever has. Received Frances Highest Honor..."
"What's green with little red wheels? Grass. I was lying about the little red wheels. Missing my grandpa today. This was always his favorite."
"Scientists just discovered a contraceptive better than a condom It's called your face"
"Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes."
"Why do black people have nightmares? Because one had a dream and died"
"Why did the tin man go to hell? Because he's a sinner."
"Where do male army priests live? On Chap Lane."
"Nice try speed bumps, it's a rental."