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Joke of the Day

"Wives want to videotape the birth of their child... ...while husbands want to videotape the conception."

"If you don't like the news, go out and make some."

"Did you hear about the man who did it with a parakeet? He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable."

"Knock knock, Who's there? Not Oscar Pistorius."

"Xanax: For Hispanic attacks."

"Society: ""Just be yourself."" Society: ""No not like that."""

"In the competition of female logics, a random number generator won."

"Worst flight I've ever been on. Waited for hours, plane never left the ground.. I'm never flying Airbnb again"

"Seems like /r/jokes likes puns about penises... Hey, I won't dick-scriminate."

"Why should you never bully a dyslexic dwarf? Because it's not big and it's not clever!"