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Joke of the Day

"This lady just licked her finger and wiped her daughters face... <--Hands her some Listerine and gets in line to be cleaned"

"What do you call a spitting vampire? Spatula."

"Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?"

"Recent studies have shown that Apple is trailing behind Samsung in innovation Experts predict that it will take at least another two years for iPhones to bring explosive features to the market."

"I bought a pair of shoes from my drug dealer. I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"

"As a white man I can't say the word Ni.... But I can say ""thank you for the warning officer.."""

"if theres 'national public radio'? (npr) is there also 'private public schools'?"

"I'd like to thank /r/jokes for teaching me so many jokes! I've always hated the sound of laughter..."

"What do you think about a girl isn't a virgin before 18?"

"How'd the husband know his wife was fooling around? Got home from work, kicked off her panties, and they stuck to the wall"