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Joke of the Day

"[shipwreck diary] Day 32: a plane flew over last night but I fired the only flare on day 5 to celebrate my first solid shit in over a week"

"I just found out that my pillow has a better sex life than me It gets head every night"

"What's the difference between a nun, and a prostitute in a bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul."

"If you could travel the world with only one person, who would that be? Dora. She has like everything in her backpack."

"How do we know burgers love young people? They're pro-teen!"

"Women are like spaghetti. They're straight until wet."

"A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying ""Betcha can't eat just one!"" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move."

"[my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: ""i had a good time tonight"" me: ""i think you need to leave"""

"The FAA can register my drone... ...when they pry it from my neighbour's cold dead head."

"Have you heard the latest trend... Have you heard the latest trend that's blowin' up the Internet? It's cyber-terrorism."