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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac newton died a virgin"

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"Had my son's hearing tested because he's always yelling. Turns out he's just an asshole :("
"*yells from space* Did you kill that spider?!"
"QUESTION: Do you know what is honeymoon? ANSWER: A short period of doting between dating and debting."
"What do you call a Mexican hooker who doesn't charge any money? Fritatas"
"How do you know if a Muslim is laughing online? He types, ""HALOL"""
"Why are girls so hot? because they lay out in the sun so much lol :P"
"Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast] Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!"
"A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran."
"*runs thru a couple holding hands like it's the finish line of a marathon."
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