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Joke of the Day

"How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but the lightbulb has to WANT to change."

"* on a date snuggling * Me: Did you enjoy dinner? Her: Yeah, but now I feel fat. Me: Get your hands off my belly."

"I like my women like I like my calzones Somewhat crusty on the outer part and really gooey and cheesy on the inner part."

"What do slutty nurses go as for Halloween?"

"*Aquarium GUIDE: Octopuses are sensitive to camera flash so please turn off...ma'am don't flash the octopus ME: [pulls shirt back down] ok"

"Why did the spy stay in bed? To stay under cover"

"My dad used to say me ""what ever you do, don't get killed like a pussy"" and this comes from a man that died in his shed."

"How are relationships like algebra? You look at your X and try to find out Y"

"What's the difference between a soy bean and a chick pea? I've never had a soy bean all over my face."

"What do you call a whirlpool in a church? Holy water!"