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Joke of the Day

"""No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dye."" Auric Goldfinger giving instructions at his Easter egg decorating party."

"How is a fish like a bicycle? Neither one knows how to whistle!"

"There has been a bomb explode in Scandanavia? There's Norway i would sink Oslo as to think of a joke for that."

"A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994."

"Trump's last two chances to save his election campaign at the second debate: 1. Be endorsed by Dave. 2. Bring out a resurrected Harambe on stage."

"How do you keep a lawyer from drowning? You take your foot off the top of their head."

"Stupid seal at the zoo would not sing ""kiss by a rose."" REFUND!"

"The NFL has hired their first female referee. She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago."

"Today is World Alzheimer's Day! Just in case you forgot."

"Why do soccer players not play in the rain? It makes their makeup run."