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Joke of the Day

"TIME TO RETIRE Q: WHEN DOES A PROSTITUTE KNOW IT TIME TO RETIRE? A: WHEN SHE CAN NO LONGER HIDE THE STRETCHMARKS AROUND HER LIPS."

"Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable."

"So i watched a scary movie last night. It was so scary my shit took a shit"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? He finally woke up."

"What's the first thing you should do when you bring a Thai girl home? Check to make sure your dick is bigger than hers."

"After the machine uprising, robots in the club will dance ""The Human"" by compulsively overeating and playing with their phones on the toilet"

"That was like a weekend camping trip for a sex addicts anonymous group. Fucking intense."

"Lip Balm To My Wife Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She's still not talking to me."

"*covers himself in Nutella to hide his body heat from the Predator*"

"*Goes to Czechoslovakia to shop for a car with Automatic Braking System *Czechs for ABS"