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Joke of the Day

"What's the first thing you should do when you bring a Thai girl home? Check to make sure your dick is bigger than hers."

"I really hope it's a typo on your resume where it says you're ""goat oriented""."

"Birthday Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun"

"[Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza"

"Old folks use to poke me at weddings and say your next so... I started doing it back to them...at funerals. "

"What's black and white and red all over? After it was stuck in traffic because of protesters blocking the freeway: a police car."

"I can't decide what's scarier, someone scrolling through the pictures on my iPhone or someone scrolling through my Google search history."

"Here in the Middle East, we don't need any weed We have the Quran. Burning that shit will get your ass stoned."

"Last time I was upset, my dog brought me all of his toys and laid on my head."

"How did the pollock die raking leaves? He fell out of the tree."