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Joke of the Day

"[chiropractor] Dr., your client Tony is here -Tony? The guy whose skin is made of bubble wrap Yes -Oh hell yes clear the rest of my schedule"

"What did the zero say to the eight? ""Nice belt, fuck face."""

"I can't believe how popular these gluten-free items are getting!!! They're selling like hot cakes!"

"Knock knock - Who's there? - Impatient cow. - Impatient co- - He already left."

"My friends think I'm weird for sleeping with a full size body pillow It's just a lot more rare to find a dead midget."

"I knew Donald Trump was a bro as soon as I knew his taste in music. We both love The Wall."

"Why did the creator of 9gag call it that? Because that was how many dicks he could fit in his mouth before he gagged."

"A man and a doctor are talking... The doctor says ""I have bad news. You have cancer, and you have Alzheimer's."" The man replies, ""Thank God I don't have cancer."""

"Drunk Welsh man walks into a bar A drunk welsh man walks into a bar. How many women are pregnant at the end of the night? None, but I wouldn't eat the lamb!"

"Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors."