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Joke of the Day

"BBC News: Being obese can cut your risk of dementia... Hold on, lets rephrase that: ""Fat fuckers are less likely to forget where the biscuits are kept"""

"Hey, did you hear about the Mexican-Indian twins that just moved in next door? They're identical too! Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

"Women these days.....some of their eyebrows looks like they are sponsored by NIKE."

"INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course"

"If I could choose, I'd like to die like my grandfather, peacefully and in his sleep. Unlike his passengers."

"Have you heard the joke about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?"

"Somebody wrote ""wash me"" on my car. I'm so lazy, I just wrote ""no"" under it."

"Jesus walks into a bar and says ""I'll just have water"""

"My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4"

"What did they change the name of the gay bar in Orlando to? No Pulse"