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Joke of the Day

"HER: Impress me. ME: I own a record label- HER: Ooooooo ME: er. A record labelER. It makes labels for my Abba vinyls."

"I was gonna make a joke about cows... But it's terribull"

"What do Jews drive? A hard bargain"

"What did the VW spokeswoman say after the EPA tester discovered the emissions discrepancy? Nothing, she was embarrassed."

"Classic An Englishman and an Irish man walk into a bar... ...they were watching Wales get through to the semi final."

"Do you think it's ok to lie to a girl in order to sleep with her...? Because I feel really bad about lying to my mom like that"

"The Hotness Scale I went out on a date with a chick the other night. Looks-wise, she was a five, but with her low self esteem, she was a solid seven."

"Why are mountains so funny? Because they're hill areas"

"What do you call a black guy on a bike? Crime"

"What happens when you retweet a compliment about how humble you are?"